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Lassal
Disencounters
After two years of feeling absolutely not myself, I was diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, a hormone deficiency. Modern medicine can supply synthetic hormones but it took me more than half a year to build up to the correct dosage. The medication made for a time of extreme advances and many setbacks so that night and day I felt completely displaced at times. I was terribly worried about straining my partnership beyond repair during this time. When I got to bed, Tone was long asleep, and when I woke up he was long gone …
I decided that I wanted to document the situation. On one hand, it was simply a good feeling to step out of the victim’s position, and on the other hand, I thought, whatever would happen, I could dedicate these images to my partner for a patience that I myself sincerely might not have had with him! So I began to take a picture of his side of the bed when I went to sleep and one when I got up. A little over 80 days later I took the last pair of images for the series.
Bio
Born in Germany, I grew up in São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, returning to Germany in my late teens.
I studied economics, computer science and architecture in Germany, financing my studies in large part by visualizing scientific processes in a German research institute and by developing and drawing storyboards for movies, music videos and commercials.
In 2000/2001, while working on my diploma in architecture, I bought a digital point & shoot camera to document my works in progress. It was with this camera that my passion for photographic note-keeping was ignited. But it was not until the end of 2007, when I stumbled upon David Alan Harvey’s blog “road trips”, that I became aware of photography as a means for individual expression.
I am currently based in Frankfurt am Main, Germany.
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On a professional level… Poignant. Excellent storytelling. Personally… admirable.
Great, personal, beautiful, poignant, and autobiographical essay… I love this work Lassal !!! Congratulations !!!!
big hug, audrey
ps: Arles, Perpignan, Paris Photo, I will be there ;))
IT’s a brave thing to point the camera at yourself, especially in such a vulnerable state.
Of course the images are repetitive, but I simply didn’t care. I could not stop from clicking on the next image.
Good to see your work on here, and glad you and your doctors got things figured out.
Who would think that such a repetitive series of potential very boring images could instead prove to be so very poignant? When I got to the end, I had to back through in reverse and look at it all again – and I am quite certain that I am going to have to go back and look at them all again a few times. And that iPod – what a statement about sleeping in the same bed together, yet going to and getting up alone.
And the images where your toes came through – nice touch. And it was better that your toes were in only a few images than it would have been had they been in all.
And in that last image, you look absolutely beautiful.
I’m sorry that you had to go through all this, but glad that you have come through it. The best to you, Tone and your father in this new year – may the good times outnumber the bad and may the bad make the good better and you stronger.
I went through the pictures several times. Then, on your homepage through the whole set, too.
Whew. No repetition at all. Great idea, however the cause is tough.
Hope things are better for you now.
The idea with the last pair of pictures is the icing.
Congrats!!
Hope to see you soon.
Cheers,
Thomas
Lassal.. it’s just great! I love it! The best art is always the art related with your experiences and your life.. personal work. Big hug and congratulations, Aga
Lassal! Congratulations !!!!
good work :)))))
What is this?
Pictures of a person sleeping over and over again?
I totally understand your personal whatever situation, but hang on a minute!! I do not see anything special at all in these pictures!
I actually see nothing apart from a repetitive set of images, same (or close to be the same) to one another.
This is a case where I see the words overshadowing any will to construct a photographic essay.
I could write anything really, and put beside it a set of whatever pictures I want, and solely because of this, justify its existence?!!?
I must be really wrong..or else!
Please do illuminate me on this, as I am truly spaced out!!!!
I appreciate the simplicity, repetition, and finale of this piece… as an exploration of your medical condition and an artistic chronicle of it’s affects on your romantic life. Do you feel this took bravery on your part to publish this work here? I like it very much.
Mimi, it’s interesting, for me it’s the repetitive nature of Tone’s solitary sleeping that sends the message that one picture alone would not do. And I think in this case Lassal’s written description is a necessary compliment to the photographs.
I have to agree with Mimi. I love your work Lassal–you know that. I do understand what you are trying to present through your dialogue on it but it really did not connect pictures with story or even present a story for me. And then I found myself thinking the photo of you was staged or else not taken by you and by that token breaks the template.
Congrats on getting featured Lassal. You are an incredibly talented photographer.
MIMI…
well i do know for sure that you would never DO a sequence like this…your fine work is straight but incisive documentary of the highest order, and that is what you appreciate…where you work is your world and you never travel very far from your base…fair enough…..this is not a criticism of you, just an observation……..and frankly, i see this as a very interesting exercise more than some definitive body of work…but does every essay just have to be a slam bam change the world photo j world press coverage of something really really important?? i think for many the answer is yes, and i respect that approach…but i cannot help myself ..i like a little satire a little comedy and sometimes just a little subtle revelation of the “unimportant” but lyrical kind
i feel Lassal’s sequence is worth publishing here for two reasons…
first, it is up close and personal…i mean really “in the mirror” seeing…i am always trying to get my students to see what is right in front of them and this is a good example…second, i am just fascinated by the relationship….can anyone help but be drawn into this relationship?? the story ??? i think this is a classic picture story ..this is about everyman…everywoman….and Lassal is narrating…and this is so NOT about hypothyroidism…..
this is totally all about THE RELATIONSHIP ….i feel i can see the relationship between Lassal and Tone…this is a sequence clearly showing an aspect of a long term relationship…..does this look like a torrid one night stand??? hell no…this couple has been together a long time…..do you see this?
the KEY is the iPod…..Tone is going to sleep every night with his iPod….very deliberate…hmmmm…maybe i am reading between the lines and Lassal might throw her shoe at me …. but at least i AM reading !!
few essays get me to thinking…this one does…
cheers, david
slide show 1.5 seconds all images……….
IMANTS…
yea, that would work…you are back!! can’t live with us, can’t live without us?? :)
skype tomorrow..
Lassal…I really like the essay and your story. I especially liked how you showed yourself at the end. Being a person who has had a similar story of a period of medical mystery I could feel the personal connection you had to the work. Nice essay for Burn.
Well it is 2011 ……. 2010 is gone I got out of it before you guys did though Ross beat me to it………
Mimi, I think the time stamp is an important element.
I’m with Mimi on this one. Really didn’t evoke any sort of feeling or reaction from
me other that it felt a little contrived.
The images just didn’t develop into anything and the total lack of variety, apart from
a mix of ipod,phone,etc stalled the group for me.
Individually,most of the pairings would hold their own,stylistically,in an awards competition
but as a group they were a bit ‘sleepy’.
Well, burn is not the best place for publishing this kind of work. Or rather not Burn themself but internet magazine.
people need fireworks, special effects, action, thriller and romance
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Any series that finds me thinking about it later and going through it again has something special about it.
Taking pictures of my family asleep was my favourite type of photo when i was a teenager…there’s something about it being so personal and intimate and so uncontrived, a whole secret world that you can’t get into and they can’t see out of that’s really tantalizing.
And I like that there’s a reason to this too, a big part of your lives exposed.
Thanks Lassal, HNY, and I hope you’re well now.
Even though I find the concept interesting, the result I do not.
For those who enjoyed this work, may I suggest Andy Warhol’s movie “Sleep”.
Dearest David,
Thanks for your kindest words and thorough explanation about the piece.
Even if this is not my “style” of work, I would never object any story on this basis, my concern is more on this story itself.
Just for example one of my really close relative (for privacy reasons I prefer not to say who exactly) is affected by the same terrible condition, so I know really really well what are the awful implications specially in the lost inner balance, both physical and mental.
The problem I have, is not about sympathy for Lassal condition, I am extremely sorry for what she’s passing through. It is rather a critique on the choice to use a repetitive module throughout the sequence.
I know that this choice/technique is really concise but it is also, to my advice, redundant.
Too concise because the photos are not self explanatory or revealing of a condition, and I would like to see a better effort to PHOTOGRAPH (no matter in which style or aesthetic choice) a more articulated visual argument.
Having said so, I must also totally respect your editorial choices and I truly believe that this variety of subjects and styles bring more flavour and solidity to such a beautiful platform that BURN is and will be.
SO I totally back you on this and discussing on different views is healthy for us and for our photographic improvement.
Thanks,
Mimi
Good morning everybody,
first of all, thanks really for taking your time to look at the images and to write a comment.
Let me go through what is written and see if I can clarify here and there.
…
mw
thanks! ;)
Audrey
(that hotel bedspread was so bad, it was great!)
thanks Audrey …
I will be in England for some weeks in and around the end of June. Have to check if that collides with anything.
Brian
I actually did not feel brave, but rather a bit desperate. Like trying to hold on to a handful of sand or water …
I am very glad the doctors figured it out, indeed. For the two years before, they had wanted to treat me for BURN out. But how can you have burn out, when you are bursting with things you wanna do? No way.
Hey Bill,
very sweet of you … :):)
It was in fact repetitive … for me, it had to be. On my website I show all the 82 images from the last days. When I started to take these pictures, I told myself I would stop as soon as my state was stable, and the doctors gave me a thumbs up as to: “ok, now this is how it is going to be from now on – get used to it”. And so I did.
It could have taken 14 days, or 140. But 80+ was ok. It kind of conveys the notion that is was a long, long, long time. In fact it was a situation I was in for over 2 years. But I totally crashed right after our BURNbirthday last year. That is why I never came back to all of you for the beautiful submissions … :(
The radio in the pictures was in fact crucial to me. Without that, it would have been more difficult to sell that it is not only about a sleeping person …
Thomas
yes, the cause was tough for me, but at the end it was not more than that: a cause. A lot of people have this health issue – it actually runs in my family, as I found out later!
I was always an extremely headstrong person and – I have to admit – very arrogant towards people who were less disciplined. If there is something I learned with this, than to be more tolerant and humble and that sometimes the mind is not as strong as it wished to be. In fact my mind in this situation was just about as strong as a canary in a bird cage.
But what I am doing wrong in this explanation is to stress the illness. It is not about the illness at all, it is about the situation that I got into because of that. It is about isolation in a partnership, about trying to hold on, about helplessness, about love for someone and drifting apart nonetheless … seeing it but not being able to do anything against it.
It is so emotional, that I needed to find a symbolical vessel to carry this. That is why I choose the images of the bedside next to me.
The last set of images was absolutely necessary to complete the picture. Also to balance things out. I am glad you see it so too.
Aga
thanks so much! …
Personal work is the easiest and more difficult to do. You just put so much more out there than a simple set of images. If Tone had not been totally easy about this, I would not have showed it here.
Marcin,
:) thanks for your kind words … I really appreciate it.
MIMI…
again please, this is all interpretation on my part…it is NOT an explanation of the piece…Lassal has explained her medical condition and this is the resulting work…so we are all seeing something different here…and evidently i am the furthest off base from the artist intentions…
yet this is a photo Rorschach test for sure…
IF i did not read the text, then i would apply my interpretation or something close to it…this is quite obviously NOT Lassal’s INTENT…so we indeed are totally dependent on the text to see this as a manifestation of a medical condition and so i must bow to the artist declared intent…
however , since it is indeed the drumbeat of repetition that either makes or breaks this sequence for some…the contradiction is of course the journalistic text and the not so journalistic visual representation which is what is causing the disparity of interpretation….besides, i do not think Lassal has even one bone of the photojournalist in her body….personally there is no way that i am ever going to see this symbolically as an essay about a medical condition even if it is about a medical condition which is what i believe it to be or at least the intention of Lassal as so stated……however, i doubt if Lassal showed this sequence to a total stranger without explanation or text, that this stranger would think they were looking at pictures of a med condition…she should try it….nor would the title suggest that this was to be an essay on the results of medical trauma…just show the title and the pictures to someone walking down the street and ask them what they think they are seeing…i would really be curious…
Mimi, Lee
I was expecting/hoping/fearing such a comment, so I have to thank you that you came up with it in such a nice way. If it had not come up, then probably just because nobody deared to say it.
You are right. There are a lot of pictures showing someone sleeping over and over, but actually it shows the bedside next to mine when I go to sleep and when I wake up. Tone just sometimes happend to be there and sometimes not. And when he was there, in fact, he was sleeping. I was not trying to take a picture of him sleeping, he jus WAS sleeping. It was actually very sad.
These images were originally made for him, and not for publication. To show my partner that I was well aware of the situation I brought upon us, that I watched him every night and that I was very sorry. And much more. I think – I hope! – that it showed that if I did not care for him, I would not have bothered to do this. That even if he only witnessed me sleeping throughout the day, I was very well aware of him. These images were to be a gift for him, and I actually feared at that point that it could become a farewell gift.
So the images in this case show the facts – they are a straight documentation – but the story unfolds between the lines. As in so many relationships …
And time is crucial for this “story”, thus the long sequence of over 80 diptychs is important, it is not about one displaced day (night) without communication, lovemaking etcetc. It is about a time span that felt as it was forever. Repetitive, yes, unfortunately, repetitive, repetitive, repetitive, repetitive … so too repetitive … And every day a bit sadder. And every day I felt more guilty. The repetitiveness made it. And the nightmarish feeling of knowing what is happening without being able to do anything about it.
So it is not about my illness, which I share with many people – but about what it caused to the one single most important thing in my life. And I am positive that similar situations are all around us – for different reasons – couples sliding into various states of “disencounters” with or without being aware of it.
I really hope this clarified it a bit. Please tell me if not.
This is not a big PROJECT for a universal audience, it is a small gift for one person.
But it is about something, that I think (hope) many people can relate to. Even though, if I had made it for “many people”, I probably would have made it differently. As it is now, I am glad I did not.
Lance,
thanks so much for your kind words and explanation. I always need so many words to explain something … That is why images often work so much better for me.
Simplicity. Yes, I wanted it as simple as possible, because I wanted to stay between the lines without illustrating (you know, the white pills in your hand etc, what you see so often when it comes to illness and medication). Also, if I had chosen complex images, I think it would have taken the focus away from what I wanted to state and placed it too much onto the images themselves. And that would actually have been crazy, because I shot them in the dark, holding the camera over my head – with very little control. I just aimed at one point and tried to get it more or less straight, without cutting his head off in the picture. And without having to take multiple shots with the flash. I did not want to wake him. Thankfully he has a deep sleep.
Also I liked the notion of having little control over the images … it reflected the way I felt. Because of the nature of the concept, I could surrender to not having the total control over the images. But with this, for me it was also obvious, that it was not ABOUT the single images. For me, in their simplicity, they only work as a sequence.
@ Lassal and David,
I do not have any issue to the words explaining or introducing a series of images. I rather think this is appropriate and essential for a complete understanding of one’s work.
The issue here is related to why there is a growing need to make public some very intimate and personal events of our life.
I see this as (please do excuse my being frank) forcing the viewer of this type of works, to become some sort of psychoanalyst, a counsellor.
Now, if this is happening through a series of images that articulate better the issue lived by you, then I have room to interact better with the subject. But if both content and form are virtually encrypted, then, I am only left with the possibility to say: “Good!” or “Bad!”
Don’t you think?
Thanks
DAH,
thanks …! Also for your thoughts. You saw more than I was hoping for.
You probably well remember how reluctant I was at first to publish Disencounters here. I had shown you the first 16 images while I was still shooting, because I had to stop working on all my other series. And I did want to show you that I was still clinging on with my fingernails. :)
I truly did not expect you to ask me to submit Disencounters for publication here. I think I even choose to ignore the first time you asked me, because I did first have to wrap my head around this thought … Sorry for that. :)
Most important of all: I needed to do my outing towards Tone and ask HIM first! I had no idea how he would receive it, what he would think. I mean, he is not naked or exposing himself in an indeecent way on any image, but I am exposing him and US nonetheless. And if he had not just laughed and taken me into his arms, I would not have submitted.
As it is, I am very glad and thankful to be able to show it here. It is actually relieving. I feel lighter.
… The radio every night. You are totally right! That was the one thing that I thought could get the point across to others – but few seem to have noticed.
He really was very alone, was he not? So sad … But he never actually said anything. He never ever once complained. That is him. I always blabber and he is so … I do not know … patient?
I saw the radio, too … In the pictures, when I looked at them later. And I totally flinched. Thus I was hoping the radio would do the job. Just as you said, it was definitively a key element in there.
Thanks, David.
Imants
:)
Valery
Thanks. Yess … mystery, indeed. It is quite telling that one of the symptomes of this illness is depression. It messes up your life and you have no clue what is happening. On the other hand side, I am glad it was not a burn out. :)
Anyway. Whatever the illnesses and hefty experiences we as humans go through – and mine is definitively not extreme compared to others – it really is one of these lessons that can teach us what matters. I have heard this sentence unnumerous times and as someone who has used up all his cat’s lives already, I know that there were times, when I felt I knew what it meant, and how important it is.
But then it slipps again into muddy nowhereland in the back of the consciousness. In a way that is hard to recognize. I would have sworn it was still there.
Guess that this is the strengh and the weakness of being human. We can deal with a lot before we break – especially if it comes slowly – the danger is that we get used to unhealthy situations and start to consider them as being normal.
mw
yes, for me the timestamp is important.
I planned it to be the only text in the whole thing.
mtomalty
thanks for taking your time to comment, even if the images did not evoke anything in you. That is totally fine. In fact I think, maybe, that you have to feel a bit of a deja vu, to understand it. If this is the case – and I do not know if it is, it just came to my mind now as a possibility – then I am happy for you and wish that you will never feel it.
On the other hand side … through movies and literature we are trained in many emotions that we might not personally have experienced in our immediate lives … So maybe what I said above does not fit at all. Or my images just do not fit to communicate this to you.
Thanks again.
marcin
yeah … maybe. I agree it is not the perfect medium. But then … how many people do we need? Like with friends … how many real friends do we need? Not many. But you need to go through a lot of aquaintances to come up with these few real friends. Most of the times at least. Seeing it this way, the internet is definitively a chance to reach out to more people.
John Gladdy
True!
True!
True!
True!
True!
:)
I actually do not know how it happened. I had the text on my website corrected twice and then I copy and pasted it in one go into the submission form. Even not wanting to put my hand into the fire for the correct typology of my original text, I noticed also that the two texts are not the same anymore. I have no idea how they came to be. Can Copy&Paste be sabotaged??
Lassal. I was referring to the essay itself being a typology. Didnt even notice if there were spelling errors….but then I have it on the highest authority that I am the worst speller in the biz :)
Vicky
thanks for your kind words. Yess … better now. Thankfully.
Thodoris
thanks for pointing Andy Warhol’s “Sleep” out. It is a great movie and I love it a lot. But it is about something totally different. I am sorry I did not manage to get my
Mimi,
the text is mostly to define the circumstances that lead to the idea. I do not have it in Tone’s book, he is well aware of the situation. Other people are obviously not. I thought it could be important to explain the state of awareness I was in. But yes, maybe it was superfluous. If I had not been aware of it, I would not have taken the images. If I had this be my normal and accepted life, I could not have cared less …
Lassal, I really really love it! :))
Repetition and very small differences between each photos makes some concepts.
I feel your pains and uneasiness … but you depict it in a quiet tone …. That makes this essay very nice.:))
Congratulations and Thanks to you!!
Hi Mimi,
sorry, I am going about this in order of how the comments came up. So I just read this now:
“The issue here is related to why there is a growing need to make public some very intimate and personal events of our life.
I see this as (please do excuse my being frank) forcing the viewer of this type of works, to become some sort of psychoanalyst, a counsellor.”
Most things are intimate and personal in some point. If you document HIV, hunger, slum housing situations, portraits etc, do you not think that this is intimate and personal? It might not be for the photographer but it definitively is for the people depicted on the images. That is one of the reasons why the topic “exploitation” keeps coming up. I totally do not want to dive into these waters now, but just wanted to point that out quickly.
The other thing is when you say that the viewer is forced to see this. How so? How can I force you or anyone to have a look on my images? Am I standing there with a gun behind you? Not so. It is your own free will to spend some part of your lifetime with whatever you choose to look at. At least I hope so. And actually, even if you might regret it now, I am glad you did spend some time here and make these comments. I find them important.
Our world is full of visual messages, like street signs. And if we do not want to go mad or drive with 10mph through the streets, we should learn quickly which visual messages are important four our given situation. It is not possible to take it all. It is not necessary either. Would it be better to eliminate some of these messages? Probably. But what? And who shall decide?
Mimi … again. Thanks.
Lassal, I really really love it! :))
Repetition and very small differences between each photos makes some concepts.
I feel your pains and uneasiness of insomnia…
but you depicted it in a quiet tone …. That makes this essay very nice.:))
Congratulations and Thanks to you!!
p.s. I missed one word … so i corrected it… thank you :)
John …
:))) nice
yes, for me the timestamp is important.
I planned it to be the only text in the whole thing.
I think it would be stronger that way, but few people would probably take the time and effort to figure it out.
Lassal. I really, really love it also. Like all good photography, it’s about being alive in this world. Congratulations.
Kyunghee Lee,
your “Islands” book is on my table right now. So beautiful … such a deep song about life … like the quiet murmuring of water. I wonder how you would have approached this topic of mine. You would have made something eternally beautiful out of it, no doubt.
Thank you so much for your kind words … I will write you soon, I am very VERY behind with everything.
Kyunghee Lee
“Island”! What an unfortunate typo on my part. Sorry!!!
John …
so much for typos.
My comments are probably full of them. I often just notice that something sounds funny, but do not see the mistake. I really hope I get it across. The more specific one wants to be the more difficult and complex a language gets.
Lassal,
You miss understood my comment, or maybe I should just rephrase it.
I didn’t say you force us to see the essay. I meant that this kind of intimate takes on one’s personal events, drive the viewer, in this context, to necessarily become nothing more than a counsellor, as the only fitting comments could solely be related to your issue and not to the photographic essay itself, that to me looks photographically incomplete or monotonous.
I understand you wanted to convey a repetitive and frustrating feeling but I believe this nevertheless remains a far too personal affair.
mw
“I think it would be stronger that way, but few people would probably take the time and effort to figure it out.”
I agree. This was not planned to be a slideshow, but a book. It is easy to do this in a book – I could use a small typo, that is there without being in the way too much. The typo would have been too prominent and too big in comparison to the images, if I had let it in the diptychs. These elemrnts are quite important for me, especially when there are not many elements to begin with. So I ended up putting the timestamp into the caption. Not the perfect solution, but the best I saw for this slideshow.
Windup
yes, indeed. Thanks for understanding. :)
Lassal…
My comment above had two parts. The second was made with my tongue pressed firmly in my cheek. The first was made with a straight face, and l should expand on it a bit…
Using photography as a therapeutic device is in the core of most personal projects. A recurrent thought, or feeling, or dream, or a daily reality that we cannot escape, is usually what sparks a project idea. The need to express visually something, in the hopes that we’ll be able to better understand it, cope with it, and in the end—if we succeed—communicate it with others. This use of photography is what separates personal from commercial/editorial/for-hire work.
In this context, I always admire people who have the courage to turn their cameras on their own lives, as you do here. And for the record, I do connect with your project idea since I’ve always had problems with my sleep, and especially when under pressure I find myself lying in bed for hours twisting and turning. So, these pictures are quite familiar… but…
Even though I don’t have any advice to offer as to what is missing or what you woulda/coulda/shoulda have done differently, the final result of your effort just does not work for me.
Don’t know if you have seen Kiarostami’s “Taste of Cherry”… your project presented here is like the first part of the film… you kind of need a second part in order for the frustration to have any meaning on a universal level… don’t know if the example I just used speaks to you at all, but it’s the best I can do right now… I think that there is substance in this essay, but it needs something more.
Also, please know that I always appreciate your writings here and your ability and willingness to share your insights into your creative process.
Theodoris,
Sorry but I must disagree with your definition of personal work.
Personal work does not uniquely consist of self-portraiture (in which ever sense and fashion this might be).
A personal work, in the documentary photography context, is a work that has not been commissioned by any third party and it translates into a photo essay where our personal views on a given subject are the main drive throughout the story.
Sorry for the intrusion in your direct dialogue with Lassal.
Mimi,
hmmm, sorry if I missunderstood and thanks for rephrasing it.
Well, that was definitively a risk I did run with this approach. I obviously (at least I hope it is obvious – maybe I am mistaken) did not want this to be solely about my personal relationship when I submitted it here. But obviously I was not sure if it would work. David thinks it works, some others also do. Some might know me and think it is merely about me and do not mind it. And some might think it totally does NOT work – like you are doing. That is ok. That is why we are discussing it. That is why I am happy to get feedback. There is no checklist for this beforehand. And yes, it can always go totally different than expected. In this case I was not really trying to expect anything. So to get specific feedback is a good thing.
My personal relationship is exactly that: my personal relationship, and as I am not any celebrity, it is probably only interesting to myself and the people close to me. My relationship with Tone is, just as one of these pictures, not more and not less than one possible variation of indefinitively many others, that will all be similar and different to a certain degree. But I really think that all relationships that involve love, do have certain parameters, and can encounter similar problems along the way: fear of loss, solitude, etc. And with thus they become comparable.
Oh, and I definitively do not want councelling! I now thankfully found good doctors for that, and that is their job and they are better suited for it too. At least some of them are ;) ;)
Believe me, if I were still in the phase where I thought I needed councelling, I would not have agreed to publish this here. I have moved on. And that is good, I have more than a year to catch up to! :)