spring break…

Lots of chat lately about captions. What they should or should not be. So write one for this picture. Not as a joke . For real. The scene is spring break. South Beach, Miami about three weeks ago. Pretend you are a caption writer for a magazine or newspaper and you are seeing this cold turkey. This is a realistic exercise. In 48 hours I will choose the best caption writer. The winner gets a 100 bucks to write captions for the next story up. You won’t get rich doing this job for Burn. But you might just get a real job out of this fake job.

162 Responses to “spring break…”

  • john g :))))

    I LOVED your captions…1st day to read BURN in nearly 2 months: you MADE my week :)))))

  • yeah. But you know I aint gonna get picked to write captions…Thats one Rabbit hole Alice for sure does not want to wander down.
    Just having some fun.

  • DAVID, times two. Likely more but that’s for another night in a Bangkok bar.

  • Nice stuff Gladdy!!! number 4 my fav

  • Police said a handwritten note was found on the retired pharmacist’s body in which he attributed his decision to the debt crisis.
    According to a text of the note published by local media, the man said the government had made it impossible for him to survive on the pension he had paid into for 35 years. “I find no other solution than a dignified end before I start searching through the trash for food,” read the note…………..
    Greece has seen an increase in suicides over the past two years of economic hardship, during which the country repeatedly teetered on the brink of bankruptcy.
    Police did not release the pharmacist’s name and offered few other details.

    By Wednesday evening, dozens of written messages had been pinned to the tree under which the man shot himself, some reading:

    “It was a murder, not a suicide,”


    “Austerity kills.”

  • Miami, March 2012. Climax of the Van de Graaff Generator Spring Camp. Attendees perfect their approach to solo and pairs – otherwise known as “hug generation”. The legendary David Alan Harvey, veteran of many VdG Spring breaks, attended but was not participating in this year’s camp.

  • There are too many shades of red (heads) but they all look good under a Miami sky….

  • Spring Break 2012, South Beach, Miami – love is in the hair

  • Red, before the storm.

  • College frat guy with a weakness for redheaded women is caught cheating by his girlfriend, who snapped this photo of the threesome. The clouds go wild; revenge is in the air. It’s spring break in South Beach.

  • (Apologies to Orhan Pamuk). “My Name Is Red.”

  • Wow, Kathleen Fonseca, Tom Hyde, and Bob Black all checking in on same thread… is this a Road Trips Revival?

    Me, I’m holding out for reappearances Aga, Space Cowboy, and Lisa Hogben.

  • A warm embrace takes the chill off on a blustry spring day at the beach.

  • Sidney, yeah man, the bus is rollin’ …

  • “Trying to take a photo of that snoozing couple, but that yesterdays biyatch is still trying to lick my fingers….”

  • soz, a bit drunk…

  • John Gladdy

    I`m from NJ. A pisser is a funny person. Check out this quote from Goodfellas..

    Henry: You’re a pisser, you’re really funny. You’re really funny.
    Tommy: What do you mean I’m funny?
    Henry: It’s funny, you know. It’s a good story, it’s funny, you’re a funny guy.
    Tommy: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
    Henry: It’s just, you know. You’re just funny, it’s… funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
    Tommy: Funny how? What’s funny about it?
    Anthony: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
    Tommy: Oh, oh, Anthony. He’s a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
    Henry: Just.
    Tommy: What?
    Henry: Just… ya know… you’re funny.
    Tommy: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m funny how, I mean funny like I’m a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
    Henry: Just… you know, how you tell the story, what?
    Tommy: No, no, I don’t know, you said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what’s funny!
    Henry: Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!
    Tommy: Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

  • Sidney

    The planets aligned themselves just right..for me it`s great to see Tom (i loved his informative spring break caption) and Bob (et tu indeed)..and Gordon and Panos and Imants and EVERYBODY! And who could resist the assignment to write a caption for such an off the wall photo? There were some amazing captions. Everyone really showed their personalities. It was great.


  • CIVI:
    I hope I’ll win this one…HERVE,please stay out of this…I am here for the cold turkey:)))))))))

    David said no humour, hmmmm, I wonder who that was destined for!… Capice! :-))))

    all yours Civi…. Yet, if anyone wants to know, the correct “cold turkey” caption is of course:

    No sun, sand, sea and instagram.

    PS: thanks to Jenny Lynn for telling me about this thread , yet it took about 3 minutes to get to this page (and I am not even browzing an essay!), regretfully my net connection in Thailand is not up to speed to enjoy BURN these days.

  • sidney,
    youve got to count me in.. though my caption was quite serious.
    though i always try to be a pisser… but i always turn out corny.

    nightwatch… awakens…
    we stand guard over pissers and overpiss ’em…

    (hi kathie.)

  • a civilian-mass audience




    the Universe is working…BURN is a big ball of Fire…roll on,MY BURNIANS

    I am singing now…:

    Go away IMF
    stay away from my home
    I have friends
    who believe
    that I can make it by my own
    Go away IMF
    I will stay here in BURN
    where my friends
    hold my hand
    and my soul is in peace
    I will BURN
    here in BURN
    go away IMF
    don’t you dare…
    you have caused
    so much hurt…
    go to hell IMF

    to be continued…dedicated to the people who have been “murdered by IMF”…


  • a civilian-mass audience

    OUPS,my apologies…wrong aisle

  • Year 2020, South Beach, Miami, one of the last places in America where public display of affection is legal

  • Love is in the spring, in the air, in every moment.
    A photo like this did not explain, it cares to make us feel it.

  • During Spring Break 2012, some of the scenes on Miami’s South Beach are hair raising.

  • correction..
    ”Love is in the spring, in the air, in every moment.
    A photo like this does not explain it, it cares to make us feel it.

  • South beach spring break photo competition.
    Some types of pictures will be unlikely to win a prize

  • Caption or Cutline?
    Spring break picture confusing online audience.

  • well yes i will pick a winner this morning…i promise.yes yes i was supposed to do it after lunch yesterday, but i went to the beach just could not resist and ended up shooting this spectacular storm….anyway, i am on it…some funny stuff here…and some really good ones as well….

  • Students enjoying their spring break at South Beach in Miami. March 2012.


    i said caption in my request…in the newspaper biz (at least in the U.S.) a cutline is the newspaper terminology for caption…at some magazines (like natgeo) the same thing is called a “legend”…caption i think pretty much covers it all for most people…i guess i will just pick the best words that go under this picture..but yes i see that some literally did a four word “cutline”….in my mind i was looking for a “legend”…something that didn’t necessary describe the picture (which never makes any sense to me) but went further to describe the overall subject…in the UK is a cutline as i described? or something else??


    saw that movie again on the flight home just now from Italy…it is the one scene that all of us know the dialogue by heart…..i wonder why?? it is just memorable dialogue…and every body laughing and yet everybody fearful…..an amazing tension build up…great moviemaking, at least of that particular oeuvre.

  • DAVID. I have no idea. I had never heard of the term until yesterday when I did an intensive Google 101 on it.

  • Sex on the beach, it’s not just a drink. Many students will spend spring break at South Beach, finding fun and romance before they have to turn their back on love and head back to school.

  • WE HAVE A TWO WAY TIE…no i don’t have 200 bucks …i don’t even have the 100 bucks i promised, but i will come up with it…

    anyway John Gladdy owns the funniest captions here….so for flat out sense of humor Gladdy wins, no surprise.

    however, for a professional caption writing job there was only one written, and that was by Young Tom Hyde..

    SO, we must have a runoff…only fair way….so here is what must happen: Young Tom will write a caption for the Gladdy portrait he just made on april 2 of the woman with dark eyes…in his recent link….and Gladdy will write a caption for Hyde’s tumbleweed shot from a couple of years ago (know it John? easy search)

    ok gentlemen, start your engines…the race is on…

  • Toms isnt a caption its a novel. :))

    Washington state. Date unknown.
    A stylized landscape with tumbleweed in the foreground.
    Although tumbleweeds are usually associated with drought, dust-storms, deserted towns and old westerns, Washington state photographer Tom Hyde sees them differently.

    seriously though…I concede.
    Sounds way too much like a job :))

  • Sounded like the encyclopedia britannica to me. Juxtaposed with such a loose iphone photo, I thought it was funnier than anything Gladdy came up with. Congrats.

  • DAVID,

    I agree wholeheartedly with your choices, but rather than a run-off or $200 or even $100 that you don’t have, why not just give them both free copies of “(based on a true story)”?

  • John, yea a tome! :))

    David, I cannot find the April 2 portrait of the woman with the dark eyes in John’s most recent link the “Gospel according to st Paul” (lots of April 3). Nice set to be sure.

    MW, there’s a reason I don’t often caption my own photos ;))

  • I like Sidney’s idea btw.

  • JOHN

    i am sitting here laughing…good …can you send tom your picture…not sure where i saw it…


    ok you gotta beat that one..


    (based on a true story) is a special construction …unbound… 90% hand assembled…at first glance you might not think so, but you will see…i think i can safely say this is a unique book….and designed as no other…therefore it is not a $50.book….but still a good idea, so one of them will get it as a prize for the best caption….

  • MW

    actually you do make a good point…hmmm i might have made a mistake..but alas now a runoff…i mean runoffs are fun and now Sidney is giving away my books for me!! the Tom Hyde caption of course was a perfect copy of a major magazine caption…the whole idea of captions for the larger magazines is to get the whole damned story into the captions assuming that many readers never get around to the actual text…so the larger magazines have a staff dedicated to writing the legends (captions)….short text (captions) does not mean less serious text ..harder to write short…


    CONGRATS, beautiful motherfuckers :))))

    Young Tom’s caption seemed more bobblackesque in its length than a bonefide caption for magazine or newspaper …and thus, it was fucking hilarious too, (MW is on the ball) especially all those factoids dropped in comparison to the iphone/upclose/offkilter shot……I believe that the newyorker fact checker might ask him for a rumble with a tumble-weed over those stats….but 2 better men would be hard to match….and here’s one of them gents is going to toss that money back into beverage call in either OBX or NYC or LOOK3 wherever the crew meets up next

    now, what i would like to see (though, alas, i’m about to disappear again for ano0ther extended period of time) is a writing competition between Gracie and Akaky…

    by the way, i dig Spring on the Lucie too :))

    arrivederci, miles to go before i sleep……


  • David said: “the Tom Hyde caption of course was a perfect copy of a major magazine caption”

    Which WAS the assignment. I went a bit too far in the opposite direction on one these previous exercises. Something like 80 percent of mag readers read the photo captions but not the accompanying story. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to write a “serious” cutline within the context of Burn (or the age of Stephen Colbert) without sounding too literal, or like a tool, or ironic … or all of the above … sort of like wearing a Phil Collins t-shirt in public. :P

  • Paul, thank you, but can’t find the referenced image in that set … so I picked one …

    John Gladdy employs a blue filter in this black and white wedding portrait recently seen on the cover of Modern Bride.

  • I know everyone has moved on from this thread but just wanna say:

    OYE..congrats`to Tom and John..both hugely deserving! Tom let loose with the facts sand John let loose with the absurdity. John rendered the absurd factual and Tom rendered the facts absurd. DAH, excellent choice!

    Civilian..i hear such sadness, Gracie, i hear cheerful calm. Hmm…

    DAH..the tension in Goodfellas curls my hair. I almost can`t stand it, but it`s oh so good i can`t look away. That particular scene, you are so right. Henry just gets the psychological crap beat outta him. To be the victim of that kind of bullying. Haven`t we all been there to some degree at some point in our lives? I remember being 11 years old in a John`s Bargain Store when a 13 year old had me up against a counter, her face twisted with contempt, her balled up fist close to my cheek, denouncing me for stuffing my bra with cotton. Crap, who can watch this scene between Tommy and Henry and not relate?

    best to ALL and to ALL the best:

  • Fuck it`s good to be back.

    Just had to say that..

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