so many topics get discussed here, that it sometimes makes my head spin…but, it all pretty much centers on "the photographic life" and how we can all best "live it"…yes, the photographs themselves are indeed our final "net worth", yet getting to these photographs , this incomparable journey, is an entity in and of itself…
this is not exactly "news"…but, i never cease to be inspired by this simple simple fact that this journey is unending and leads us down paths we would never go down without our cameras in hand….seeing something, being a part of something "for the very first time", just gets me BUZZING in way that unfortunately i cannot really put into words…
last night was such an experience…the owner of my building in New York is an Hasidic man …Nachman…a man hard to know, hard to "figure out", rarely speaks, and seems mostly to want his rent check on time…i have never signed a legal piece of paper in my three years in the now almost famous "kibbutz" building and my "business" with Nachman is all eye contact and a hand shake…it works….i pay my rent on time and that is that….i have asked Nachman from time to time if i could photograph is family…he always says no…three years worth of NO..
just one day before i went down to the beach to be with my family, Nachman stopped by to get his rent check….he sat down….for a long 20 minutes or so….even smiled…he invited Mike and Marie and me to his daughter’s wedding….nobody else in the building was invited and we were the only non-Jewish guests to be…this wedding was last night and i had absolutely zero time to go, but i went anyway…with ten rolls of 220 Tri-X (not enough)…
i will get to the point….i think most of you know that i have been blessed with being able to make photographs almost every day since i was 12 or so… some might think by now that i would have "seen it all"…maybe even bored with having seen it all…surely i have "been around the block" a few times…however, even i continue to be amazed at being amazed…
what i witnessed last night, or rather what i was a "part of" last night at the wedding , was definitely a "for the very first time" immersion ….
a brand new never saw this before didn’t know this happened before what is going to happen next i am not prepared and i am missing everything kind of experience…do you know this feeling??
if only i had any kind of insight or knowledge or "guide" or anything, but i had to take it "straight up"…no clues…no "map"…Nachman smiled watching me "work"…and all i could think of was that i had better get something "good enough" to make Nachman happy…
i was not thinking about you or my Magnum mates or anybody to "satisfy" except Nachman….somehow i was working for HIM…..yet, he did not ask me to take one single picture of anything in particular and i offered to do so ….he has seen my "work in progress" on my walls, has never commented on any of it, and yet he seemed to know exactly what i was doing and what i would do and he let me roll roll roll…
when Marie and i sat down briefly last night to "review the evening" we commented to each other…."now THAT is what photography is all about…." to be so so INSIDE and to bear witness to something that you would NEVER have seen otherwise…even the other Hasidics did not see or experience what i did….i moved freely from the "men’s side" to the "women’s side", so NOBODY actually experienced the wedding in quite the way that did i…
ENERGY comes from these moments….our "raison d’ete"…all of the other "stuff" that we all have to put up with in our often frustrating craft , totally disappears when we slide into the warm arms of real discovery and enlightenment….
don’t tell anybody, but i only left the party (yes, Hasidics party!!) when i RAN OUT OF FILM!!…but, i think the moment was over anyway…at least, that is what i keep telling myself….i do not even want to know what happened later…regrets?? oddly , no….
oh yes, did i get any good pictures?? quien sabe…i made all of my usual mistakes…i only hope i have something that Nachman will like…
i would just like to see him smile one more time…
Hi DAH – wow – i don’t think I have been the first to post before. I have been in Perpignan for 3 days now and just stopped to get online. The wedding sounded wonderful. I would love to see a few frames from it. I think it says a lot about you and who you are that he invited you, Mike and Marie to attend.
Look forward to seeing you soon!! xo
one of the best post it is.
I wish to see some photos but I know I have to wait.
David, to be INSIDE: to hear YES is so, so sweet. Photography must be the only way to get inside other families, cultures, situations beyond our normal everyday experience etc. So why do so many of us find it so difficult to ask for permission to photograph? Maybe because we don’t want to hear NO – so we put off asking and miss the moment. No seems so final but, as you show here, sometimes it means not-yet. Sometimes you have to ask more than once. Interestingly I E-Mailed a Jewish organisation last Sunday evening to ask for permission to photograph their Community. No answer so far. I’d like to just turn up and talk my way in but, with my speech problems, it’s not gonna happen! Wish me luck, if I don’t get a reply I know where they meet once a week and maybe I’ll just turn up. What’s the worst that can happen? They say No?
Best wishes to the newly-weds in the last post and good to hear that your Mom is improving.
Mike.
DAH – just got caught up on the previous blog. I read that you wanted to meet Eric at The Park – FYI – the bar is now gone. They changed it a bit. Breakfast is in a different location too. But no lounge area anymore. Just wanted you to know….
GINA….
my oh my…i am barely going to make my flight!! but, i do hope to see you tomorrow..
MARCIN…
yes, i want to save all my family work until later…maybe by the end of the year, i will have something to show you..and even then, i will not have very many….
the picture posted now is from a very brief visit with some Hasidics that i did i think two months or so ago when i was doing the New York essay for the Air France commission….
by the way, we are still working on doing something in Poland….wishing we meet soonest…
cheers, david
cheers, david
GINA….
why in the world did they take that bar area away??? nice “hang” spot….
AUDREY…ERIC…
ok, now no place to meet!! hmmmmm, well, just meet me in the Park Hotel lobby at 5:30pm wednesday and we will find a coffee shop somewhere…
David,
wishing we meet soonest too. If you need that I should do something, help something let me know. You will have workshop, exhibition? exhibition it is good idea!
Have a nice time in perpignan. I wish be there.
cheers
ALL…
ok, i am “off” until i get to France tomorrow morning…and even then i will be “on” very little…
Perpignan gang…in case you missed my note, let’s try to meet about 12 noon sunday Cafe le Poste for breakfast meeting…then go to the beach to get over whatever happens to us at the saturday night fete…
we will run into each other all over the place, but that is the best i can think of for a PLAN….or is “plan” even a real word at Perpignan??
cheers, au revoir, david
my favorite post/story/topic/experience of yours so far…three years of no for one day of yes.
beautiful.
-dave
OK for me, for tomorrow and for Sunday !! Attention all, the sea is very cold!!
à très bientôt, audrey
Interesting that after all this time you have retained the “butterflies”, the sense that must make a mindful effort else you may not get the results you want, the sense or fear that success is not guaranteed. I think, myself, that if this challenge is no longer present the work will suffer.
Thanks for sharing the experience
Dear David,
My mother passed away in the early hours of this morning after an illness which has slowly destroyed her since January. It was peaceful and painless at home with her family at her bedside.
I just want to say that your post put a much needed smile on my face during what is a very very sad day.
Thank You.
Cheers,
Justin
Justin P…
my condolences …
Sorry … Be strong!
JUSTIN…
i just came back for a quick “peek” and saw your note…
please know that my heart is with you in the loss of your mother…we should all be so blessed as to have our families at our side when it is time to go…
you are a fine man indeed…and i am sure you give credit to your parents for much of who you are…
a warm hug and love, david
o justin
sorry to hear that mate… my thoughts are with you…
david
have a safe flight
running for my ticket now, hope everything will work out. will call u when i arrive on sat eve
peace
Justin…
a big hug also from me, I know there are no words, but sometimes friends near to you gives the warm for a little bit.
For David and Gina and Audrey,
I’m also in Perpignan, with random internet. Breakfast is at the PAMS hotel. People meet after the evening slideshow at the bar at le Castillet.
May be I also will be at the hall tomorrow with Audrey;
The Post, it’ a kind of way of life to be inside, I always try, sometimes you need a entiere life, sometime three years and somethimes five minutes, just a breath or a mind viewor a glance
… it get me crasy to write with french pc keyboard..
here it’s summer
no i-phone but….
While studying in Israel I once ended up as a guest for shabat lunch in a hasidic home in Sefad and despite my being jewish I had no idea of how to behave. The man was very pious and serious but at a certain point he broke in a wide smile so warm the feeling was “i would just like to see him smile one more time…”.
Does it have anything to do with the deep commitment to a faith?
that’s what photography is about…
I’ve seen now that the meeting is for Audrey and Eric. They qre not stqying for the evening;
So we can meet later. May be with the other the 4 evening in Le castillet.
I’ve seen a lot of exhibition.. some of them impressive, some remarquable some other less… but everything here is so interesting. Also slideshow and meeting with photographer tailing their story
Justin, may you and your family find peace during this time of loss. When my mother died at an advanced age I thought I was ready. I was not. Maybe we never are. Please know I’m holding you and your family in my heart.
Patricia
JUSTIN, I’m so sorry to hear of your troubles. Nothing anyone can say is ever adequate at a time like this, so my heart goes out to you and your family.
Hi David,
As a wedding photographer, I’m esp. interesting in how you saw the wedding. I’d love to see your photos.
Matt
JUSTIN
Your post brought tears to my eyes.
Sending you a huge hug.
Anna B.
Justin, I am sorry for you…
hola david
i just want to say for justin sorry man but is good to know that your family was there thats the way that good people pass away
good bless you justin
justin..
warmest thoughts from here.. some things connect us all.. that must have been a valuable smile..
peacefulness for you.
D A H
jeeeezzz. you made me want to real off a long.. long and slightly magical story.. amazing to be able to see what no other could.. have an experience which no amount of money could buy.. something new, every day.. a fitting mantra for a good mind.
love the landlord.. just the kind of guy it’s a pleasure to do business with.. for rent at least.
fingers crossed for the snaps.. i have only ever photoed weddings for friends and they have always been a gas.. a real treat and privilege..
okay.. lasagna for dinner.. must save digression until another time.. when perhaps i will bring up the emperor of unique experiences – coincidence..
ahh.. how coincidence has fed, nurtured and taught through unimaginable situations which could never have been planned.
PEP people.. safe travels and see you next year.
love to all.
Justin,
Sorry to hear of your loss. Good that she passed away with her family beside her. My best wishes to your family.
Mike.
Justin,
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your mother.
We should be ready for that, but we never are and never will.
DAVID…
You probably won’t see this comment for a while but I’d love to know..
“oh yes, did i get any good pictures?? quien sabe…i made all of my usual mistakes…”
WHAT ARE YOUR USUAL MISTAKES? I certainly know what mine are…It’s good to know that even you make mistakes. :))
What were Michael and Marie doing during all of this shooting of yours? Assisting you? I’m sure they were dying to shoot…but maybe were not able to? Curious to know…
I just encountered a similar situation at a Hispanic fiesta I attended. I know EXACTLY what you mean…I’ve encountered it over and over again, especially in India. NOTHING beats that feeling of discovery. Thank goodness in this day and age these new experiences are still possible. It has not ALL been seen and done. Haven’t edited my new work yet but got some shots I’m happy with and look forward to sharing.
Have been to my share of jewish weddings but never a hasidic one! Looking forward to seeing your photos. Glad you enjoyed.
JUSTIN…
Glad that you can smile among the tears. So sorry. My mother has been “gone” for 16 years now and not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, talk to or dream of her. Cherish the good memories.
DAVID B.
Yes, coincidence…don’t you LOVE it?
What would life be without coincidence?
David
A great post. You do make the point.
AUDRAY …
:))) Yesss! Friday 16:00!!
PERPIGNAN CREW
unfortunately I cannot tell if I can be there on sunday later on the day because we are leaving on sunday and …we have a hotel on our way somewhere (cannot check it right now because Tony booked it and he is sound asleep.
Just met Gina today in front of the Park and Sean in Pams. It is always amazing to meet people in person … You have never met before but know so much about each other and can go right on talking … By the way Gina is wonderful and Sean absolutely great, too. We spent some hours in the (new?) meetingpoint/bar at Hotel Pams and … needless to say he is really doing his thing – very focussed, very straightforward, very positive, very professional. A great guy and I hope you will meet him.
We just stopped shortly to meet Gina as our paths went different ways this afternoon, but we will be seeing each other tomorrow night after the show in this very famous “mail” cafe. By the way it is really not to be missed… right next to the castle like “castillet”. Don’t worry, you will find it.
The conference center is still half empty… About a third of the agencies are ready to roll, a third is building up and a third has not shown up yet. Canon is still installing their hardware so I could not test their A3 printers today. Will try to do so tomorrow.
It got a little fuller today than it was yesterday. It was good to end up seeing all the exhibitions before it gets too crowded. Especially the upper floor of the Couvent des Minimes. All small windows closed, not enough oxygen, very warm and… the most upsetting pictures! For the first time I felt a little sick of my stomach … and I know not which of the factors were responsible. Probably all of them. In fact … i had in my bag this little pseudo-documentation of Mosocho and Kisumo (december 2006), and I saw this one picture on the wall of a lot of bodies in a morgue a very aesthetical photo… It read ” Kisumo , January 11, 2008. Thousands of Kikuyus, members of Kenya’s largest tribe, disappeared from Kisumo, making it the first city to be ethnically cleansed. Victims of post-electoral violence are seen at the morgue.”
You could not see faces and I was so thankful for that … after all I got to know quite a lot of them – wonderful, nice, good people … like the rest of them … at the end of 2006 when everybody was so full of hope and positive about their future and the future of the country.
And I remember I have not been able to reach any of them after the riots… Only some Kisii at Mosocho. I thought the internet was not accessible … but now I think otherwise … If the town was “cleaned” then there is nobody left… Or almost nobody…
Damn it!!!!!
I leave you now for today…
David
I really enjoyed reading last few posts of yours…if one goes by the titles, it may not seem related to photography, yet when one reads the posts, one realizes how relevant and related they were to life and photography. it is great that you share these thoughts.
by the way, i found an interesting thing…if i just reverse the order of your last three posts, it becomes…
1. for the very first time…
2. commitment….
3. babies etc…
wonder what comes next!!! :)
love and hugs to Justin, I have the same feelings 5 years ago when my father passed away. Very difficult even to remember.
keep the strenght…not easy I know
i am really sorry
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
quem sabe… :)
cheers from perpignan!
JUSTIN……
i am so sorry to hear about your mom’s death and if it were in my power to swallow some of your own grief, surely each of us would, just as each of your family members now must share and swallow and carry one another….but know this too…you are not alone…
there is little i can do to offer comfort but maybe to offer some words of condolescences and light…
as Akaky wrote, it is impossible for me, for any of us really, to lighten grief, to fill you with something that will ballast all the sadness and emptiness that at the moment you and the rest of your family is enduring. But, i want to just tell you a small and simple thing:
you are not alone.
That you mother was well loved by you and your family means that though you shall no longer be able to see her or listen to her or touch her, please rest assured that she has not, not for a moment, left you: she know lives inside you, thrives and sings and enlightens you, all the corners and cornices of your body and your heart and your life, for those we love do not leave us, but simply transform. I know it, at this time, is small comfort but please no that in a sense you mom is not within you in that place that she shall never be able to venture far or from which you will no longer be able to depart…in the space of the size of you heart…
my father once told me, long ago, that i would never understand anything, not a simple damn thing until the moment either he or my mom would die. I am here to tell you that you are sadder today, but you are stronger and wiser than I and you must share that strength and the wisdom, all that light that your mom fed you with, must share that, must take that grief and stone-quarry sadness and speak out into the world of what you now know…that your grief can become love lit large for all of those who loved your mom and all the places and spaces she touched…
you were born fit for this, she gave you that extraordinary gift…
those we love die, but they do not disappear: we become them, just as we were of them to begin with…
in this moment of grief, i send you love and light and hugs from me and marina and dima…and please no that you are not alone…wearied, but you are now stronger…
sing out to your mom, her voice is your voice now…
all the best, and love from the 3 of us…
bob
DAH….That’s Beautiful Stuff!~!! -Jeremy
SUBHRAJIT BASU… said:
1. for the very first time…
2. commitment….
3. babies etc…
wonder what comes next!!! :)
Posted by: Subhrajit Basu | September 02, 2008 at 04:10 PM
Hey S.B… ;-)))))
XXX , comes next… or comes FIRST…
because with no XXX…
there is no BABIES… and with NO Babies… no particular reason
for COMMITMENT…!!!!!!!!!
make sense????
again, ;-))))))))
… maybe AKAKY or HERVE can help resolve all that…
peace…
ps:remember…xxx, first… because NO SEX, NO LIFE…
stopped driving for the day…
Sidney,
Ryan gave some explanation…!
And it goes like this:
You see i use the “Apple” servers up in Cupertino…
for $100 a year you have a “key” to their server…
They use to call it ( .Mac ) , but all this summer their
are trying hard to upgrade their servers so we all get more
(double) space for the same dough…
the new upgraded server name is ( MOBILE ME )…
but the transition is not that smooth and it wont be at least till
X-Mas… :-((
Anyways… the solution is probably the “Photo-Mechanic”… way..
Again, thank you … i will try to fix all that soon…
with a little help of God ( sorry, i meant RYAN )…;-)
peace…
ps: people… please click once more
on my name below…;-)))))
yo ho ho…!
I think the photos don’t really matter. Its the experience. Even with our “usual mistakes” witnessing what you did and as you said, being the only one to see it that way, well thats all you need. I’m sure the photos will be what they need to be. That’s all you can ask for.